N0TMessBarbie

N0TMessBarbie This is not the Barbie you're looking for. This is where I park my grown up stuff.

Instead of demonizing an entire gender for what one guy did, I would like to thank all the men who have helped and rescued me throughout my life, stranger and friend:

  • The boys who stood up for me when the mean girls at school bullied me
  • To Chris, who helped me with my Geometry homework. I started from an F and passed with a B
  • To Mr Hicks, my Jr High band director who wrote a solo for me to perform (and didn’t do that for anyone else)
  • To Mr Holliday, who taught me how to play the violin, which is now my day job
  • To Kevin, who asked me to Homecoming when no one else would because I was the new kid…a punk in a prep school
  • To the 8 different men who saw me stranded on the side of the road an stopped to offer assistance
  • To Joe, who broke his date and came and sat with me all night in my apartment when I didn’t feel like living anymore
  • To Scott, who drove an hour one way at midnight in a thunderstorm to jump my car
  • To Elliot, who always answered the phone when I was crying
  • To Paul, who makes sure my Arizona car never breaks down (and who I know puts me ahead of other customers on the schedule) and reminds me to take my medication
  • To my dad, who tells my mom that I’m grown and to leave me alone about my life choices
  • To Jeremy, who put up the bond money to get me out of jail when my sister put me in
  • To Joel, who was the first one to come running and hold my hand until the medics got there when my horse put me in the hospital
  • To Mike, who taught me how to shoot and reminded me to eat a decent meal every now and then…and who threatened to not eat if I didn’t eat soon
  • To Dan, who taught me how to drive
  • To Punkboy, who sewed my hand up himself after I split it wide open and didn’t have insurance to go to the hospital (not a single scar)
  • To Brian, who found me unconscious in my apartment after I didn’t answer the phone for 2 days, carried me down 3 flights of stairs, and took me to the ER. I had Mono. I don’t remember a week of my life, but I remember that much
  • To Sam, who called Poison Control when I accidentally mixed alcohol with a post-surgery medication and I passed out in the street. I don’t remember what happened, but I woke up at home and he was still there
  • To the two guys at Motorcycle Ohio who taught me how to ride
  • To the tow-truck driver who pulled me out of a ditch one cold, rainy night and didn’t charge me
  • To Randy, who keeps my horse’s feet happy and doesn’t always charge me
  • To the janitor at the airport, who noticed my skirt was stuck when I came out of the bathroom and said something before I walked down the concourse like that (none of the other ladies said a word)
  • To Christina’s dad, who fixed my big toe when we were out on the lake and it was nearly severed by something in the water
  • To Avery, who, after I leave his house, won’t go to bed until I get home and text him I’m OK
  • To Sgt Pelicano, who taught me how to think like a horse and train horses properly
  • To Gary, who taught me how to SCUBA dive
  • To Nicky, who constantly reminds me that I *AM* good at my job
  • To Pat, who gave me a job playing & teaching music after PetsMart fired me for being pregnant. The job he gave me turned into my career…Vaughan’s Rockshop Ltd…my corporation that I own
  • To Greg, who thought I was pretty cool when nobody else did
  • To the ASU student walking down the street that gave me a high-5 while I was out running and told me to “Keep up the good work”
  • To Masters Mack, Mack, Andrachik, and Kiser and Misters Tracyk, Miller, Thomas, Liming, and Riffle, all men who taught me how to fight…and how to win
  • To Daniel, who inspired me to start running. I do it every day now. I can’t live without it
  • To the guys in KansAZ, who wholeheartedly gave me a man’s job even though I’m a woman
  • To Pete, who gave me the opportunity to go to Costa Rica to save sea turtles
  • And to Rory, who dropped what he was doing and rushed out to fix my car on the side of the highway last night

Much like an awards show, I’m sure there are several hundred Men I forgot to thank for getting me here. They represent men much better than my rapist. If we REALLY wanted to be fair, we would count our blessings, and we would see that the acts of the many vastly outweigh the misdeeds of a few. 

Sorry I didn’t get back to your controversial internet discussion fast enough. I had a bunch of stuff I had to do today and Facebook wasn’t one of them. But I’m glad to see you’re still plugging away at it. You didn’t actually DO anything except internet about it today, but I’m sure your Nobel Prize is in the mail, regardless…especially after those poignant personal attacks you made on some total strangers.

Yup. I love the internet crusaders. The world needs more of them. They make it easy for the rest of us to step away from our screens & put our phones down. Don’t palm your face too hard. Let them roil away, buried in their phones. Every internet Jesus is one less car on the road…one less applicant in the job line…one more person to easily cut in front of at the grocery store…one less person to compete with in life….

So many women killing themselves trying to look a certain way to attract the man they think they should be with. Enough with the “hot” & “bodies”. If a particular kind of guy you’re after doesn’t like your “type” or your size or your age, move on! There are plenty of guys out there who are looking for exactly what you are. They may not look how you pictured, but you’ll never find anyone else who’ll treat you better, give you the world, and love you forever.

So many women killing themselves trying to look a certain way to attract the man they think they should be with. Enough with the “hot” & “bodies”. If a particular kind of guy you’re after doesn’t like your “type” or your size or your age, move on! There are plenty of guys out there who are looking for exactly what you are. They may not look how you pictured, but you’ll never find anyone else who’ll treat you better, give you the world, and love you forever.

So, I ran into McDonald’s to use the restroom looking like this. A lady sitting at a table leered at me so hard she almost knocked me down.
I’m not a hooker. That’s not a skirt. My hair is clearly wet. There is a SCUBA diving place nearby. It’s a bathing suit, you stupid bitch, and if you want to have a judgment contest, from the look of things, I bet my scuba gear in the back of my truck cost more than your house….er….trailer.

So, I ran into McDonald’s to use the restroom looking like this. A lady sitting at a table leered at me so hard she almost knocked me down.

I’m not a hooker. That’s not a skirt. My hair is clearly wet. There is a SCUBA diving place nearby. It’s a bathing suit, you stupid bitch, and if you want to have a judgment contest, from the look of things, I bet my scuba gear in the back of my truck cost more than your house….er….trailer.

By far one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. #Steampunk #Ghostbusters. Everything on the proton pack worked and lit up, down to the working wrist communicator and playing the theme song. Best. #Cosplay. Ever! 👻#geek #nerd #geekchic #nerdy

By far one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. #Steampunk #Ghostbusters. Everything on the proton pack worked and lit up, down to the working wrist communicator and playing the theme song. Best. #Cosplay. Ever! 👻#geek #nerd #geekchic #nerdy

We are now officially official #zombies #zort #zombieapocalypse #bewareofdog #k9 #goodkarma #brains #pitbull #pitcrew #pitunit

We are now officially official #zombies #zort #zombieapocalypse #bewareofdog #k9 #goodkarma #brains #pitbull #pitcrew #pitunit

Dear Hollywood Movie Dudes,

Wanna triple your profits? If I can select “Spanish, French, Arabic, German” etc from the Language settings menu on a blu-ray, then I should be able to “turn the blood off” also in the same menu. “Turn the blood off” is a gaming term in which the player opts to remove profanity from the game’s dialogs.

There you go. Instantly appropriate with no extra cost (the audio is a separate track anyway). Now you’re a hit with kids, teens, and parents everywhere. Parents can turn the blood off and watch a movie that would otherwise be a no-go, and folks who don’t care can leave the blood on. No separate packaging, no extra work. Boom.

Sincerely,

Mom’s & Dad’s Everywhere

Five Rings To Piss Them Off, and In The Mess Combine Them

We may not speak the same language. We may not even support each other’s religion, but one thing we all have in common is the bad taste the Olympic city of Sochi, Russia has already left in our mouths before the Games have even begun. Russia is kinda like a work by Monet; it looks great from far away, but the closer you get, the more of a mess it is. As the Opening Ceremony of the XXII Winter Olympiad draws near, more and more eyes and ears begin to focus on Russia, and one by one the voices join in a single chorus, “What the f*%k are we doing here??”

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks, the New York Times has called this the most controversial Olympiad to date. let’s recap:  Of course Russia’s greatest trespass, Strike One, is the deliberate attack on LGBT persons. In an interview with CBS news, Mayor Anatoly Pakhomov proudly stood before a camera and declared that there Sochi is 100% gay free and maintained that while they don’t actively pursue LGBT persons, Russia is trying to “purge” herself of homosexuality in the name of advancing the birth rate. Strike Two comes in the form of two Orca whales* which have been procured for display in the Olympic city. While the whales will not actually be performing in the events, they were specifically obtained for display at the Sochi dolphinarium “Aquatoria”. The international ban on whaling allows only for the capture of whales for research purposes, and while Sochi says they’re part of an educational display, one wonders why they pressed so hard for the whales to arrive in time for Opening Ceremony. Finally, Strike Three knocked us all over and peed on our shoes when the World learned of Sochi’s plans to exterminate (that should read “shoot” or “poison”) tens of thousands of stray dogs, which the country says are nothing more than "biological trash".

They say that history repeats itself, and they are right. In fact, on Thursday, we will relive the Summer Games in Berlin, Germany. 

"Hitler saw the Games as an opportunity to promote his government and ideals of racial supremacy, and the official Nazi party paper wrote in the strongest terms that Jews and Black people should not be allowed to participate in the Games. However, when threatened with a boycott of the Games by other nations, he relented and allowed Black people and Jews to participate. At the same time, the party removed signs stating "Jews not wanted" and similar slogans from the city’s main tourist attractions. In an attempt to "clean up" Berlin, the German Ministry of the Interior authorized the chief of police to arrest all Romani (Gypsies) and keep them in a concentration camp," ~ Wikipedia

How sad that in 2014 we can replace the word “Jew” with “gay” and “Romani” with “dogs” and just change the name of the city, and VOILA! instant time warp to 1936. It would seem that Man has developed very little in the last 80 years, merely trading hostility against one for another.

Russian barbarism shouldn’t surprise us, but it does. I find myself torn between feeling sorry for these people and being angry with them. In my quest for a more balanced view, I learned that Russian National Security was already censoring a Coca-Cola campaign because it has for the potential spread of “LGBT propaganda”. I think we all just assumed that the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 ended the age of Communism in the West and along with it the practice of sanitizing information and prohibition of progressive thought. I think we just figured the Cold War was over, and that we had all joined hands and happily hopped into the Information Age together. I don’t think any of us in the West really figured that these practices would go on, but it makes sense that they would go on. 

The truth is, Russia is at least 40 years behind the rest of us in their thinking and policies. Imagine the US in the 1950’s and 60’s. That’s Russia today. In the 1960’s, people of color weren’t allowed to go to white schools, and they had to get up and go to the back of the bus. That’s Russia today. We thought it was cool to collect cetaceans and make them do tricks in tiny concrete swimming pools. That’s Russia today. We know better now, but in their defense (the only thing I’ll say in their defense) they have not had the benefit of a worldly education for nearly as long as we have. While we have been working out our modern social issues since WWII, Russia has only had since Perestroika (1986). What does make sense is that the USSR collapsed…they didn’t get a brand new tabula rasa population and government to start all over with. Russia never had a Civil Rights Movement and never had any use for Animal Rights. Until the 80’s, everybody and everything was property of the State for the State to do with what they willed. This is all they know, and it won’t be for another 50 years at least before they begin to accept and respect the world the way we see each other today.

While we can sympathize with the Russians as they squint in the light of the Western sun, Civil and Animal rights are not a new idea to the rest of us. Is this an attempt to proselytize a country to Western philosophy? It would be one thing to host the Games in such a place if 1936 hadn’t already happened, but it did. What are we going to do, show them again? You can’t talk to someone who has already decided they won’t listen. As gallant as it was, Jesse Owens’ 1936 performance, sadly, did not prevent the Holocaust, and while I genuinely hope that some LBGT athletes have their own “Jesse Owens moments” or two or 100, I doubt very much that the Russians will stop their brutal persecution of people based on sexual preference. The Olympics are supposed to be a reprieve from fighting and chaos, not an arena to create more. The Games represent togetherness, equality, brotherhood, and harmony, none of which are adjectives which can be used to describe the host country or city. It would be one thing if Russia was on the brink of a social breakout and had invited athletes from different cultures to help them celebrate their rebirth, but we see no such evidence from them, nor do we currently see a willingness to change or accept a more egalitarian worldview.

Oh, the Games have certainly brought the people of the world together, alright…under one petition or another. 

*Incidentally, as of this morning, the Russians have decided not to display the whales for the Olympics. They will not be released, however. Instead, they have been sold to China to become an attraction in China’s version of Sea World.

From the powwow last night #nativeamerican #Indian #americanindian #Navajo #navajonation #culture #dance #powwow  (at Gallup, NM)

From the powwow last night #nativeamerican #Indian #americanindian #Navajo #navajonation #culture #dance #powwow (at Gallup, NM)

Today’s hijinks… It’s pretty cool jet setting around the country to put fiddle tracks on people’s music  #music #recording #record #adayinthelife #lovethelifeyoulive  You don’t have to be on stage to be a #rockstar

Today’s hijinks… It’s pretty cool jet setting around the country to put fiddle tracks on people’s music #music #recording #record #adayinthelife #lovethelifeyoulive You don’t have to be on stage to be a #rockstar

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